Flood Survivalist Gifts

"You seem to be surviving okay."

'They laughed when I told them I wanted to be a pole-squatter. . . they're not laughing now.'

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

Tsunami Evac Route

'Oh, that's just great. It's not bad enough I'm stranded here. Now I'm trapped in an invisible box.'

'Expecting a bit of wet weather Reg...?'

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

Noah wears hearing protection as animals howl.

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

'I've been plagued with worry over rising water levels, so...'

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

"Now you can send it."

Climate Change Contingency House

"....rather than spend millions on a potentially fruitless effort to avoid flooding we've decided to focus on public safety!"

Man on desert island with a sail attached to two coconut trees.

Before we can rescue you...you need a safety check.

'Have you got a sand wedge?'

'Do you suppose we might qualify for asylum in Holland?'

"Darn it! No more cups!"

'A passing ship! Quickly, light a signal fire!'

Flood-stricken woman saves goldfish

"Okay, now we just wait for the wind to pick up!"

"Nice try, but I doubt that will be much of a deterrent."