Flood Survivalist Gifts

"You seem to be surviving okay."

'They laughed when I told them I wanted to be a pole-squatter. . . they're not laughing now.'

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

'Expecting a bit of wet weather Reg...?'

Tsunami Evac Route

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

Noah wears hearing protection as animals howl.

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

'I've been plagued with worry over rising water levels, so...'

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

"Now you can send it."

Climate Change Contingency House

"....rather than spend millions on a potentially fruitless effort to avoid flooding we've decided to focus on public safety!"

Man on desert island with a sail attached to two coconut trees.

'Have you got a sand wedge?'

'Do you suppose we might qualify for asylum in Holland?'

Before we can rescue you...you need a safety check.

"Darn it! No more cups!"

'A passing ship! Quickly, light a signal fire!'

A surf lifesavers' joke.

"I really don't think it'll help if you address it personally to Oprah!"

"Nice try, but I doubt that will be much of a deterrent."

Flood-stricken woman saves goldfish