Flood Survival Champion Gifts

"Well, they didn't send us the new flood barrier!"

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Dancing Doctor

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Noise Pollution

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

'Expecting a bit of wet weather Reg...?'

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

Noah wears hearing protection as animals howl.

'I've been plagued with worry over rising water levels, so...'

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

Do Not Lean In

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

Climate Change Contingency House

"....rather than spend millions on a potentially fruitless effort to avoid flooding we've decided to focus on public safety!"

Damp? Only when the tide is very, very high.

'Do you suppose we might qualify for asylum in Holland?'

'False alarm! I'm back. It was only a career suicide.'

"On the bright side, ever since the layoff and my divorce it's been much easier to balance work and family."

'I'll call you back. I'm out with the dog in the fields at the moment.'

Flood-stricken woman saves goldfish

'Oy! Don't you realise there's a hosepipe ban?'

"We rescued him form the research lab."

'This doesn't look good!'

'Did I or did I not say, no woodworm?!'