Flood Preparedness Gifts

'After the first few floods our insurance company insisted we future-proof the house.'

'I'll be down in the basement.'

'It has less to do with loneliness than with the fact that I live in a flood-prone area and I can't swim.'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

A Hole in the Dike

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

Emergency exit into Space

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"I can see our house from here."

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Small Government Is Here

Venice Floods

"My God, now what?"

'I'm building an ark because the polar ice caps are melting.'

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it!"

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

Japan Disaster: Japanese fighting Nuclear Grim Reaper.

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."

Climate Change Contingency House

"....rather than spend millions on a potentially fruitless effort to avoid flooding we've decided to focus on public safety!"

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

It's been awhile, so to refresh your memory - what you need in your car for winter snowstorms...

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

Good News/Bad News: Crisis Control Center