Flirty Barrister Gifts

Do you come here often? May I buy you a brief?

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

"Let's take in a trial."

'I take playing footsie very seriously, Jane. You may have won the first two rounds, but let's make it three out of five.'

'First time I've seen a law degree with an expiration date.'

'I'll show you my fine print, if you show me yours.'

"I don't mind your acting as your own attorney, but would you please stop hopping on and off that damned chair?"

'They got me for trespassing, grand theft cookie and trafficking Xboxes across state lines.'

"The only thing trivial about pursuing this trivial lawsuit is my fee!"

'Costwise, are we thinking Kavanagh QL or Rumpole?'

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

"The circus was good but as 'Jo Jo, the dogged faced attorney', I'm making a killing."

"When I'm with you, Miss Lawson, the billable hours just fly by."

'Relax, baby, and pay no attention to that old man behind you.'

"There's definitely some chemistry between us!"

"I'd like to represent myself. . . though what as, I haven't yet decided."

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

"Ello, ello..& ello

"Who's a good witness."

'When I offered the bribe, Your Honor, I was just being polite.'

Do you realize that the only thing separating us is this gavel? If you're not careful, it will be the thing connecting my hand to your skull.

"We've found reasons to appeal. It appears you still have some money left"

"Get with the back beat, counselor!"

'I'm on hold, you're on hold...let's dance.'

'Your wife got the house and the puppies.. but I managed to get you all the buried bones.'

Some people call it "permission to approach the bench." I call it "first base."

'Did anyone ever tell you that you're beautiful when you're litigious?'