Playful Barrister Admirer Gifts

"Who's a good witness."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

I love tennis

'First time I've seen a law degree with an expiration date.'

"It's a grave situation, Mrs. Conway. It appears to be an extremely aggressive form of flesh-eating lawyer."

'But you told me to try and look innocent.'

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

The Troubadour

"We took away your right to vote on taxes. You voted 'no' too often."

"The only thing trivial about pursuing this trivial lawsuit is my fee!"

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

Attorneys in deep

'This court hereby sentences you to fifteen months in an imaginary box.'

'I think your best bet is to hang yourself in your cell.'

'Relax, baby, and pay no attention to that old man behind you.'

'Your honor, permission to treat this witness as hostile?'

"My client is willing to settle. Do you still have the leg?"

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

"So do you want me to write it up as a murder or a community service?"

'No, Reverend. Community Service does not mean public preaching.'

"Ello, ello..& ello

"Look familiar?"

'When I offered the bribe, Your Honor, I was just being polite.'

"We can't agree on a verdict, so we've decided to use one of our lifelines."

'It was an honest mistake -- I thought he was a 'whack-a-mole' game.'