Courtroom Comedy Admirer Gifts

"Did you or did you not, without proper warning, leap upon my client's back, thereby causing him grievous bodily injury?!"

"My client is willing to settle. Do you still have the leg?"

'It was an honest mistake -- I thought he was a 'whack-a-mole' game.'

"Wait! I know the answer!"

"Look familiar?"

"I'd plead the fifth."

'This court hereby sentences you to fifteen months in an imaginary box.'

'But you told me to try and look innocent.'

'Look, it has to be 'guilty' or 'not guilty' - you can't plead 'I don't want to talk about it.'!'

'I urge the Court to take into consideration the fact that my client donated the body to science.'

'No, Reverend. Community Service does not mean public preaching.'

DIVORCE COURT, 'Not only did she get the house and the car, I also have to train my replacement.'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty?"

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"The court granted me a new identity!"

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

Baby's first words.

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"Can you hear me now?"

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"I didn't consider it hacking. I thought of it as getting a sneak preview of their content."