Playful Barrister Admirer Pillows

"Who's a good witness."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

I love tennis

'First time I've seen a law degree with an expiration date.'

'But you told me to try and look innocent.'

"It's a grave situation, Mrs. Conway. It appears to be an extremely aggressive form of flesh-eating lawyer."

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

'They got me for trespassing, grand theft cookie and trafficking Xboxes across state lines.'

The Troubadour

"You're definitely in the top 1,000,000,000 people on this planet."

!. Exclamation point overrulled.

"We took away your right to vote on taxes. You voted 'no' too often."

"The only thing trivial about pursuing this trivial lawsuit is my fee!"

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

'The court finds that committing this crime for the purpose of obtaining a good cup of coffee is perfectly understandable and therefore justified. Case dismissed!'

Attorneys in deep

'This court hereby sentences you to fifteen months in an imaginary box.'

"I'd like to represent myself. . . though what as, I haven't yet decided."

'I think your best bet is to hang yourself in your cell.'

'Relax, baby, and pay no attention to that old man behind you.'

'Your honor, permission to treat this witness as hostile?'

"My client is willing to settle. Do you still have the leg?"

"Look familiar?"

"So do you want me to write it up as a murder or a community service?"

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

Do you come here often? May I buy you a brief?

"Ello, ello..& ello

'No, Reverend. Community Service does not mean public preaching.'

'When I offered the bribe, Your Honor, I was just being polite.'

"We can't agree on a verdict, so we've decided to use one of our lifelines."