Fashionable Barrister Pillows

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...

"I usually only fist-bump on the first deal but what the heck."

'I like your style, you'll go far.'

"You want to be a lawyer, do you? That could be construed as obstruction of justice!"

'You have to look sharp. You'll be evaluated by the lawyers in this case!'

A barrister with his first brief

"The circus was good but as 'Jo Jo, the dogged faced attorney', I'm making a killing."

"I'd like to represent myself. . . though what as, I haven't yet decided."

'Relax, baby, and pay no attention to that old man behind you.'

Can you tell me how to sue you for flunking me out of law school?

"Wear a white shirt ...... It's the grand jury."

If you're a defendant, this necktie has 'innocent' written all over it.

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law."

"What have you got that says, 'not guilty'?"

'Is it just me or are we showing more leg this year?'

Do you come here often? May I buy you a brief?

"Who's a good witness."

'When I offered the bribe, Your Honor, I was just being polite.'

"Don't judge my client by the covers of the books he reads."

'Call me an idealist, but I believe this trial should be about more than mere testimony, evidence and legal mumbo jumbo. It should also be about which lawyer has the best three-piece suit.'

'Court house prices'

"We spent our everything putting John through law school. Fortunately, he's a bankruptcy attorney."

'Tell the new young fella it's cute.. then send him home to change into a suit and tie.'

'Looks like another tear jerker.'

"Get with the back beat, counselor!"

Maybe we should talk on the phone tonight to coordinate what we're going to wear to court tomorrow.

Coiffures suitable for lady barristers

I happened to see you shopping at "Just for Judges" the other day, your honor. Great store!

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