Dancing Barrister Pillows

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

Trial by Media

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

I love Lawyers

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Barristers

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"Bailiff."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"Not guilty?"

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."