Barrister Banter Lover Gifts

'First time I've seen a law degree with an expiration date.'

"Ello, ello..& ello

"The only thing trivial about pursuing this trivial lawsuit is my fee!"

Trial by Media

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

I love Lawyers

Barristers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"Bailiff."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"Not guilty?"