Fledgling Writer Gifts

Meet the First-time Novelist....

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

Writers without borders.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"What made you start blogging about success?"

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

'I can't promise you a best seller but I can give you fifteen minutes of fame.'

'Publshing Books for Dummies.'

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

'When you do the article, is there any way that you can squeeze the factory into the picture?'

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

A Poet

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

'The children are leaving the nest, honey! They're not diving in the Olympics...That was at leas a 6.5 by the way.'

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

"Right here's the problem, apparently you have a novel in you"

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

Indian snake charmer charms a snake.

I'm the bluebird of happiness, and I'm on a book tour. Make Your Own Happiness.

'On Company Time: A Novel'