Fledgling Foodie Gifts

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

'Can I get some carmelized onions on that omelet?'

Come dine with me!

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

6 Brothers Falafel

"You owe me five bucks."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

Tzatzikicicle

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

Pizza Tower Bridge

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"They know me here."

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

"You're about to learn what New York hot dogs are made from."

"Perhaps Monsieur would care for something more expensive?"

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"We succumbed to your hype."

Try our new genetically engineered produce.

Cheese Secret

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten our genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

'That's a very popular choice sir, and that's why we've sold out of it.'

Spaghetti Road

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

Culture clash

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

'... But, why do you want me to sign a "waiver of liability form"?'

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."