Foodie Fledglings Gifts

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

Hungry child

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

"If you're such an expert, you cook the lobster next time."

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

The moat won't keep you from raiding the fridge if you order him to lower the drawbridge.

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

'Ice cream parlour.'

"We both love Chinese food."

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

Hot dog.

'Bone appetit!'

"This can't be soup....where are all the little letters that usually float in it?"

So what's your back story? What do you do? Marketing. Downtown. House of Java.net Cybercafe. I'm an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. Heard of it? A baby goes to a restaurants and cafes and tried their food. If he likes it, the eatery gets a glowing online review. If not, curtains! I'm an investor. I'm on the ground floor! Did you only ask about me so you could then talk about yourself? I hear you. You're asking about me. Don't know what's worse: Men, high-tech investors, or the combinat

'It really is nice to eat out once in a while!'

'I'm not hungry. I ate with Rover.'

Intolerant Chef

The Deli Llama

"At what point did my Boeuf Bourguignonne become a pejorative beef stew?"

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

Oh, Wow! With all this baby food flying around, I can't wait until he starts eating steak!!!

'We've been through thick and thin. Tell me about the thin again.'

The phone was on the blink, Mom, so I ordered a pizza on eBay!

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

"Who remembers when food wasn't genetically modified?"

"She brings me my food. I call her MomDash."

"Garlic breath?"

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

Flight of the bumblebee.

'Never mind about Jamie Oliver - how does Delia Smith feel about it?'

'What can you whip up real quick? We're eating on the run today.'