Foodie Wannabe Gifts

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"You do like octopus?"

Ice Cream Surgeon

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

What the Doctor Ordered

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Fast food. Even faster food

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

La Table

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

"Rump roast?"

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'He made an excellent jelly.'