Young Foodie Gifts

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

"This can't be soup....where are all the little letters that usually float in it?"

'Can't he just sit with me until all the sprouts are gone?'

Jeff's Smorgasbord

'It really is nice to eat out once in a while!'

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"You do like octopus?"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

What the Doctor Ordered

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Fast food. Even faster food

La Table

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'He made an excellent jelly.'