Literary Struggler Gifts

"How's the short biographical statement coming?"

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

Bookworm Sleepover

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Introducing...Anagraman.

"In economics, I got an IOU."

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"So, what are you reading?"

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

"Isn't it obvious? I'm writing the great American graphic novel."

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

'I can't promise you a best seller but I can give you fifteen minutes of fame.'

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

Heaven

"Would you mind taking a look at this collection of my poems? Your opinion would mean a lot."

"Not now. I'm working on my children's book."

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

Don Quichotte

A Poet

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

"Hey - I'd write a book, too, if I could find the time."

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

"Don't pull any wisdom teeth. I need all the help I can get in school."

"That's what I get for using artificial intelligence."

"Just thought I'd let you know that the stars are in the exact same configuration as when Mary Shelley wrote 'Frankenstein'."

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'