Scholarly Struggler Gifts

'Sir, I was wondering if I could get an extension on my paper?'

"It's what you deserve."

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

"Well, I can't figure it out either. Do we know anyone that can help us with math homework?"

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"I'm terrible taking tests, too. I always freeze."

"That's what I get for using artificial intelligence."

"Don't pull any wisdom teeth. I need all the help I can get in school."

'Math isn't really my long suit, Mrs. Ferguson -- how about I just take a drug test?'

I'm interning at town hall for my college transcript. Cool. I'm taking AP classes to boost my GPA. How about you, Twig? I'm working at my dad's nursery. What do you get out of that? Money. Novel idea!

Gone for Broke College

"Baldo, you need to hit those books!"

Modern Studying

'I've been learning a lot, but I do terribly on tests.'

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

"Learning percentages has made me realize there's a 50% chance I'll flunk math."

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

'I wish I could fast forward today...'

'You're in Graduate School now. I think it's high time I stopped doing your home work.'

"I've discovered I don't have a head for figures."

"I can't believe I scored so low on my algebra test."

"Did you know that people with four-year degrees earn twice as much as people with high school degrees?"

Switch if off!

"She dumped me the minute I flunked out of medical school."

"I'm searching my family history in hopes of finding some generational trauma or institutionalized oppression that would explain whole I'm failing all my courses."

'That's required reading' - University Tuition.