Flavonoid Fan Gifts

"It's true that there is some evidence that the flavonoids in chocolate can help reduce platelet activation but that doesn't mean I can give you a prescription for Easter eggs."

6 Brothers Falafel

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

Give quiche a chance!

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

Migrating cows.

"It's not expensive, sir, when you consider it's long smell-by date!"

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'By selective breeding over the course of 10,000 generations, we've managed to create the world's ugliest fruit fly!

"I'm going to be rich, famous, and irresistible to the opposite sex any day now, Randy." "I think you've had one too many hot cocas, little buddy." "No, really. I've written a note for my descendants and buried it in a time capsule in my backyard." "Once they read it, they'll time-travel back to the 20th century and genetically engineer my embryonic self." "They'll bestow me with superhuman charisma, epic good looks, and money-management skills." "You're forgetting that to have descend

Culture clash

House plants

'What kind of side effects do you enjoy?'

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

"This will make the man in your life wonder where you went."

"It's all down to turmeric!"

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

In the Works: Eurocheese, Eurobread, Eurowine.

"Judging by your X-rays, I'd say you've been exposed to too much radiation."

'Old spice?'

"Hansen, you're a genius! A chicken steak!"

'Please prepare this memo about reducing the use of our photocopiers and give each of our staff a copy. Send them a second copy, as a reminder, in two weeks and send a third reminder the following week.'

"I'll take a latte with Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel, Hazelnut, Cinnamon, Chai, White Chocolate, Pumpkin Spice, Gingerbread, Butterscotch and Marshmallow. Hold the whipped cream, I'm on a diet."

'Science will never find a cure for the common cold, That's all the job security I need,'

The Abbe- For Beardsley's Story 'Under the Hill'

"I graduated magma cum laude."