Vapor Wave Fan Gifts

"So. . . how long have you been vaping?"

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

"He had a request for me on the radio today. He wanted me to bring him a cup of tea."

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"Oh, that's just one of those special effects for a film they're making here."

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

Antiques

'He's got a lot of talent and everything, but I just don't think he's cut out for talk radio.'

"Why, pray, am I not on YouTube?"

"It's a fixer upper."

Swearing and fighting in a caravan

"Judging by your X-rays, I'd say you've been exposed to too much radiation."

Terry Wogan

My grandparents used this to play music. It actually has a needle that allows a track around the record surface. Oh, it's groovy!

"I graduated magma cum laude."

"Was that the sensitive spot you were telling me about?"

'Well, you appear to be free of infection, but your colonoscopy video has gone viral.'

"We will go with the timber frame ones."

Communication on a bus

Ancient Egyptians

"And now, our newest hit song..."

'It's just a laser pointer, Mr. President. It's not a little mouse. Don't let people distract you with these things...Mr. President?..Hello!?'

Ned hated being famous: "Hey, everybody! It's the substitute weather guy who wore a green sweater on camera and looked like he had a hole in his body!"

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

"I can't believe how wasteful Humans are: Look at the amount of food they've just thrown out..."

I guess videos are getting easier to make.

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

Beer...Better living through zymurgy.

"The disc jockeys creep me out, but you can't deny that they play great music..."

Massage Mushroom Cloud

"People usually see the Virgin Mary in a piece of toast or something' but..."

I'm sick of living on the top floor.