Fish-loving Friend Gifts

"The good thing about being us is our mortgage is thrown in with our owner's."

Piranhaclaus

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

"For goodness sake, not again, it's day-time but we can't see the sky: It must be another oil spill..."

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

'I wish I was creative'

'It's a common misconception, but it's always been three fishes.'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Zoo. It's wednesday again --- time to wash the camels. I hate "hump" day. (Published originally on July 20, 2005).

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

No Swimming Allowed

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

'No, we don't have any tuna FISH, but we do have salmon FISH, trout FISH, and catfish FISH.'

Jacques Cousteau.

'Sorry, we don't think you've got quite the right background.'

"And you wanted to throw me back."

"After 1000 miles of rapids, waterfalls,and grizzly bears I'm pooped. Let's just grab some supper and call it a night."

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

'Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.'

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

Astronaut fishbowl.

"I told you to stop biting your nails."

Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a

Piranhas' Mounted Trophies

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

"What's the name of our sea?"

Why bluefin tuna look so worried.

Thanks for the worm, but I almost got this stupid hook stuck in my mouth.'

"Watching him work those spreadsheets all day can be very relaxing."

"No, I'm only interested in dogs and cats."