First-time Buyer Journeyer Gifts

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

Open House of Horrors

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

"Yes, we’d like to buy a grow house." "Chia Pet’s first purchase."

Garage Music

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'They're playing house.'

'How much?! You can't be serious: It's a hole in a tree!'

"I'm going to look for a mortgage...I may be some time!"

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

"It's perfect for commuting to college. Definitely a learning experience."

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

'Don't worry about your daughter Sir: I'll find us a dump to live in...'

"You've heard of the bank that likes to say 'yes' well we're the bank that likes to laugh in your face unless you've got an 80% deposit."

"It's got a great view!"

'Hey, this is nice! You should see my starter cave!'

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

'Inflation allows you to live in a more expensive neighbourhood without even moving.'

'Buy this house and get two wonderful neighbours!'

"... And how long have you had this irrational fear that you'll never get a mortgage?"

'Hi, this is Wilbur Gurkenman, your real estate agent! I've found a single room apartment I think you can afford...'

For Sale sign combined with Fruit Machine - 'House Price Lottery'

"There's one home in this area within your price range, but it has a mouse."

"We have some little cookie cutter houses you might like."

"Buy a bunch of these tiny houses. When you need something bigger, they're stackable!"

'Could you show me something in my price range.'

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

'Yes, we do sell affordable homes, if you happen to be Donald Trump.'

'Sorry, no, but thanks for bringing a little laughter into my life.'

"Is it me or is this mini home trend getting out of control?"