First-time Buyer Gifts

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

Starter Home

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"I always thought of my childhood home as being larger."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"Yes, we’d like to buy a grow house." "Chia Pet’s first purchase."

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"Mom, could we stay in my old room until we're able to afford a place of our own?"

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'They're playing house.'

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

House hunting is cruel.

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

Starter Homes

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

'How much?! You can't be serious: It's a hole in a tree!'

Karen was delighted that both her large and small suppliers had turned up for her industry day

"This looks intersting. Three bedrooms, two and a half scratching posts..."

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

"I'm going to look for a mortgage...I may be some time!"

"This room is always bathed in the most beautiful sunlight. Except at night of course."

New Eco Towns - 'The architects thought we said 'ego'.'

'If you don't want a lot of column upkeep, this probably isn't a good real estate market for you.'

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

"Call off the siege. It's being converted into ninety-three units of coöperative housing."

"It's perfect for commuting to college. Definitely a learning experience."