First-time Home Purchase Gifts

"First time buyers have always been my favorite clients."

'This is my dream house alright, but in my dream it was about half this price.'

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

House detective.

"We've had a rush of people looking for affordable housing."

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"I always thought of my childhood home as being larger."

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

"Yes, we’d like to buy a grow house." "Chia Pet’s first purchase."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

Starter Homes

House hunting is cruel.

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

'They're playing house.'

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

'How much?! You can't be serious: It's a hole in a tree!'

"This looks intersting. Three bedrooms, two and a half scratching posts..."

'And, as you can see, it is the perfect place to start a big family...'