Buying First Home Gifts

"I want a reverse mortgage. Take me back to when I didn't have one."

"And it's close to the subway."

New home - should have got a survey.

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

"Just think - if it really was 'unlivably small', would they have installed a permanent ping-pong table?"

'The price was right but we had to compromise on location.'

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Starter Homes

'So this is what they mean by helping people to get on the property ladder!'

Estate agent offers out-of-order phonebox as ideal starter home.

New Eco Towns - 'The architects thought we said 'ego'.'

"That's the trouble with youth today. They expect to move into nice car right away."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"First time pruning?"

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."