First Day As A Teacher Gifts

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

My First Camera

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

How to deliver a successful presentation.

Today we learned to count to one.

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

'I don't like the sound of the engine.'

'A dog ate my homework.'

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

"It's a mobile."

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

"We thought this was more realistic."

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

Staff Yearbook

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"