First Day As A Teacher Gifts

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

My First Camera

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

Today we learned to count to one.

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

'A dog ate my homework.'

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

'I don't like the sound of the engine.'

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

"It's a mobile."

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."

Staff Yearbook

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

"We thought this was more realistic."

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

"It's going to be one of those days."