First Day At School Gifts

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

'Wow, a sixty-four arrow quiver with built-in sharpener! I'm so jealous.' (First day at archery school.)

Don't be afraid, dear. It's safer than driving.

"The innocence seems forced."

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

'I know that you are all very excited about our new student,'

''The cow jumped over the Moon'? -- is this creationism or something?'

Family.

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

'Oh, you'll like school -- It's like Sesame Street, only in 3-D!'

Billy's 1st Day of Private School

"Nice to have you all back at school, tap-tap, there are lessons to learn."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

My First Camera

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Today we learned to count to one.

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

Evil Exams!

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

'A dog ate my homework.'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

'I don't like the sound of the engine.'

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

"It's a mobile."

"We thought this was more realistic."

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."