First Year Of Teaching Gifts

'If you finish your first year of teaching and haven't destroyed the innate curiosity of your young students, you are a successful teacher.'

A Puppet Named Juan

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

A resourceful girl, Cynthia hoped to get credit in both Earth Sciences and Culinary Arts with her ozone layer cake.

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

Evil Exams!

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

The best PE teacher in the World.

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"I've outgrown my backpack."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

Staff Yearbook

'Kiddie school is teaching about sharing; and someone shared their cold with Jennie,'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

I love PE.

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

'But I did study. I guess the software didn't install successfully.'

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"Finally...school starts next week."