First Colonoscopy Gifts

'Gee. I had hoped to make it to the adult table at Thanksgiving before you recommended I have my first colonoscopy.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"The first one's just a warning."

Kar Boot Sale (child's toys).

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

Pregnant women having a ultrasound done.

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

'Does this get me a purple heart?'

'My first camera'

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

Smartphone Sonogram

'And that,and that,and that...'

'The needle was THIS big!'

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'This little piggy went to the doctor's office and went 'ouch, ouch, ouch' all the way home. I just made that up.'

'Please tell me it shoots laser beams out of its eyes.'

Beware of teething baby.

Rusk Assessment Form

If You See Something You Want, Whine!

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'Baby's got his first blue tooth!'

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

'Downwind from a herd of first time investors approaches the pinstriped investment banker, eager to make a kill.'

First-Customer-Earned

'Heroic stoicism has its rewards.'

'It looks like the baby has reached critical Christmas mass.'

'Let's see what Santa has in his sack for a little boy or girl...'

'A Very Bad Boy'

Before his first stunt bike competition, Harold is suffering from Pre-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

You're fine, but we'd like to run some tests on your insurance card.

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures