First School Gifts

'No offense, but by the time we're in the job market, won't that stuff be obsolete?'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Computer Room.

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

I will study my speling words...

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

My First Camera

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Boy and girl at thier studies

Culture Saturday

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"