First Grade Gifts

"Listen kid, you may have been a big man on the playground but that was last year. First grade is where it all suddenly gets real."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

My First Camera

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

Today we learned to count to one.

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

'A dog ate my homework.'

'I don't like the sound of the engine.'

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

"It's a mobile."

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

"We thought this was more realistic."

"I started a collection!"

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

"It's going to be one of those days."

Learning.

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

"I have a feeling this is gonna be one tough course."

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'