First-grade Fun Gifts

'By the second week of instruction all first-graders should be able to count to one.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

Busking, "Stop worrying your father for money."

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

The Charge of the Kids

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

"In pre-school I was an overachiever. Now, in first grade, math is threatening my reputation."

The toothfairy

"This is kindergarten, Mason. You can think outside the box, but you'd better color between the lines."

'Where's the mouse for this thing?'

'F.G.G. First Grade Graduate.'

Welcome to Kindergarten. It's a list of school supplies -- I need pencils, a ruler, crayons and a laptop!

"I'm enjoying kindergarten except for all the politics!"

Early Learning Centre

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

Community College. History's a lot more fun if you think of it as gossip.

The college of my choice.

The children who can't handle dialog will play trees and bushes. They'll be scenery and not heard!

Shadow

'Sure, it's fun to watch, but Sesame Street is just a trick to get you softened up for school!'

'What about you, Billy? Did some deranged animal burst in during recess and devour your homework too?'

Pinata Pranks

'Just a suggestion...have you ever thought of boosting attendance with a bobble-head day?'

'And there goes the school window...'

"Alright, kids. Who wants to hear a scary living story?"

'Well, that didn't do any good -- I'm STILL illiterate!'

"Why are you playing out in your nativity play costume, son?"

Kids playing doctor.

'I pre-flunked.'

The cootie code!

'She's a gifted child.'

'Do you look in the mirror after you've washed?'

Kid cleaning balding head.