First Grade Pillows

"Listen kid, you may have been a big man on the playground but that was last year. First grade is where it all suddenly gets real."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

My First Camera

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

Today we learned to count to one.

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

'A dog ate my homework.'

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

'I don't like the sound of the engine.'

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

"It's a mobile."

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

"We thought this was more realistic."

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

"I started a collection!"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

"It's going to be one of those days."

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

"I have a feeling this is gonna be one tough course."

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."