First School Days Pillows

'I have kindergarten burnout!'

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

My First Camera

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

Today we learned to count to one.

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

Evil Exams!

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

'A dog ate my homework.'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

'I don't like the sound of the engine.'

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

Big Bang Theory.

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

"It's a mobile."

"We thought this was more realistic."

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"