First School Presentation Gifts

'Catholic families believe in holy acrimony.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

Tartine

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"Any questions?"

Lethal Presentation

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

Child drawing fish from life by putting his head in a pond.

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

How to deliver a successful presentation.