School Presentation Gifts

Show and Tell.

Not only did I flunk my science presentation, it went viral on YouTube!

"I misspelled a word on the chalkboard in front of the whole class."

"Very effective talk on the power of non-verbal communication."

"That concludes my presentation on popular music and alternative energy."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"Any questions?"

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

Lethal Presentation

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."