Class Presentations Gifts

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Tartine

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Any questions?"

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

Lethal Presentation

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

Scarcity

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.