Presentations Gifts

"I'll pause for a moment so you can let this information sink in."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"For God's sake, Edwards. Put the laser pointer away."

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

'Almost finished.'

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Overcoming Public Speaking Anxiety

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

'I've analyzed, condensed and simplified the data...it was a good quarter.'

'Wow, excellent turnout.'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"This just isn't doing it for me. Could we go back to using the crystal ball?"

'That's not bad. But most of the other consulatnats gave us mission statemens with more detail.'

'Now look at this. This is interesting!'

'Excellent proposal. Let's take it upstairs and see if it flies.'

'Here things are getting interesting!'

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'And this chart shows our rate of growth.'

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

'Unfortunately, we were a little off-target again this quarter.'

"First, I want to give you an overview of what I will tell you over and over again during the entire presentation."

The speech was almost interesting. People began to sit up and fake interest.

'That's it, in a nutshell.'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

'Unfortunately when our last window of opportunity opened up, we mistakenly crawled out of it rather than into it.'

'I've prepared this powerpoint presentation about myself which takes precisely the allotted five minutes.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Presentation skills.

This may help you understand my presentation.

'I'm feeling a sense of conclusion here, so let's draw things to a close.'

Lethal Presentation

'Here's where you give me non-comprehending nods of approval.'

"So if you don't mind, I'll just go ahead and read out each slide word for word in a droning monotone until you all yearn for the sweet release of death."