School Presentations Gifts

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

'Book reports don't have to have theme songs, Kevin.'

"My moms a magician's assistant!"

"Timmy, thank you for your science report..."Yawning is Contagious.'"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"Any questions?"

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Lethal Presentation

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

"Any questions?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'