First Colonoscopy T-Shirts

'Gee. I had hoped to make it to the adult table at Thanksgiving before you recommended I have my first colonoscopy.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"The first one's just a warning."

Kar Boot Sale (child's toys).

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

Pregnant women having a ultrasound done.

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

'My first camera'

'Does this get me a purple heart?'

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

Smartphone Sonogram

'And that,and that,and that...'

'The needle was THIS big!'

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'Please tell me it shoots laser beams out of its eyes.'

Beware of teething baby.

Rusk Assessment Form

If You See Something You Want, Whine!

'This little piggy went to the doctor's office and went 'ouch, ouch, ouch' all the way home. I just made that up.'

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'Baby's got his first blue tooth!'

Mishap at a nano technology lab on bring-your-child-to-work day.

First-Customer-Earned

'Downwind from a herd of first time investors approaches the pinstriped investment banker, eager to make a kill.'

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

To help emphasize good oral hygeine inkids, Dr. Remford installed a dental floss zipline in his office.

'Heroic stoicism has its rewards.'

"He's cut two teeth."

You're fine, but we'd like to run some tests on your insurance card.

'It looks like the baby has reached critical Christmas mass.'

'It's nothing to be concerned about - until his first tooth comes in he'll be connected to devices via bluegum.'

'Let's see what Santa has in his sack for a little boy or girl...'