Firearm Maintenance Gifts

'How to clean a loaded gun.'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"I warned you about the recoil on that one."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"Lovely dovetail."

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

Lazy plumber.

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

'If you're not over-protective of your new SUV, then why on earth would you bring it way out here on our hunting trip?'

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"

"Heck of a shot, son, but that's not a deer."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.