Firearm Training Gifts

Boy Scout: 'Hey, my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"I warned you about the recoil on that one."

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

"Looks like your rock cakes are a big hit this year, dear...."

A Rifle Competition in the North

"Heck of a shot, son, but that's not a deer."

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

"I'm using a silencer!"

"Bullets seem like overkill. What if I shot him with staples?"

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

'Today we're going to simulate rough weather conditions.'

"For extra protection, this one is armed with a tiny gun of its own."

"When it comes to surviving, you're learning from the best."

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

'March up that hill! And smile once in awhile, will you!'

'…and if you feel dizzy and pass out - pass out lying at attention!'

'Kicks a little.'

Competition disappears. You'll have the field to yourself!

Extreme camouflage

Think hard soldier! When I threw the practice grenade, did you hear me say 'fetch'?

"Darn, men! How often must I repeat it!? Blow!! Never suck!"

Volunteer field day at Brighton, April 21, 1862

"Rustle when I call your name and I'll bring your diploma to you."

"Neither one of us wants any trouble."

'The stove must have been on for about four days. The neighbors said that's about how often you came home.'

'Welcome to boot camp. You'll be staying in hut two-three-four.'

'...and I used to worry about global warming!'

"You call that a push-up!? My mother can do better. Work it!"

"Same old, same old, men seem intimidated by a strong woman..."