Firearms Instructor Gifts

'Kicks a little.'

If a nutter tried to join our gun club...

"For extra protection, this one is armed with a tiny gun of its own."

Please adjust your dress before you go out shooting.

NRA Convention

"I warned you about the recoil on that one."

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

"Looks like your rock cakes are a big hit this year, dear...."

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

"Bullets seem like overkill. What if I shot him with staples?"

"I'm using a silencer!"

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

Fencing Lessons

Stun-gun target practice.

"While registering online, little Ahab had confused fencing and flensing,"

'I don't know if I could really do that to a man.'

'Mr Thurber, come at me like you're going to sexually harass me!'

The Karate Master

'Okay - imagine you're a bailiff coming at me with a repossession order.'

Man protecting himself from potential golfballs

Extreme camouflage

Before There Was Pepper Spray

'Would you like to join our frequent shooter club?'

"Neither one of us wants any trouble."

"Darn, men! How often must I repeat it!? Blow!! Never suck!"

Now I cannot overstress the importance of order here!

Soldier holding a bazooka backwards.

"He's not moving. I think he's dead already."

Military Intelligence

Stun-gun target practice

Boy Scout: 'Hey, my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

"Before we start, what is your blood group?"

Sticky Kung-fu