Firearms Instructors Gifts

"I warned you about the recoil on that one."

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

"Looks like your rock cakes are a big hit this year, dear...."

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

"Bullets seem like overkill. What if I shot him with staples?"

"I'm using a silencer!"

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

Fencing Lessons

Stun-gun target practice.

"While registering online, little Ahab had confused fencing and flensing,"

"For extra protection, this one is armed with a tiny gun of its own."

'I don't know if I could really do that to a man.'

'Mr Thurber, come at me like you're going to sexually harass me!'

The Karate Master

'Okay - imagine you're a bailiff coming at me with a repossession order.'

'Kicks a little.'

Man protecting himself from potential golfballs

A soldier fills a mortar with champagne

Extreme camouflage

Before There Was Pepper Spray

'Would you like to join our frequent shooter club?'

"Darn, men! How often must I repeat it!? Blow!! Never suck!"

"Neither one of us wants any trouble."

Now I cannot overstress the importance of order here!

Soldier holding a bazooka backwards.

"He's not moving. I think he's dead already."

Military Intelligence

"Before we start, what is your blood group?"

Boy Scout: 'Hey, my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

"The name's Grambo. Get of my petunias!"