Financial Irony Lover Pillows

'If this is a free country, how come I keep getting BILLS?'

"Originally I wanted to be a stockbroker but found I fainted at the sight of money.''

'What about if we give our major stockholders samples of our antidepressants?'

'You really should see a therapist about your pathological possessiveness, Mr. Pomeroy.'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'I blame Iceland - it's PAYBACK!'

In case of falling markets break glass.

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

'...But the good news is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

Federal Guidelines

"Can money buy happiness? Certainly not the amount I'm paying you."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"The scammers managed to clear out your entire pension fund."

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

'Your investments in sub prime mortgages have become collectors items now! Aren't you excited?'

'Oh my God!! The economy's in ruins! There's no money!'

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

Bank of England Suspends Gold Payments Following Run on the Banks

Cufflinks + Handcuffs = Embezzlement

"Willis has kindly agreed to sum up our current financial position."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'Hector owes us money ...'

"It's a bill."

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

Caution: Falling Businessmen - A Sign of the Times