Film Fanatic Gifts

'Cut! The witness hasn't been rehearsed.'

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

Chairs read 'Director (movie)' and 'Director (sycophantic DVD extras)'.

'I forgot - is this a movie set, or the real thing?'

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

'Roll'em!' (dice on movie set)

Find the reviewer

Cat Cinema

'Yeah, my home theater even has spilled drinks and popcorn on the floor.'

Costume Party.

"I'm his guardian."

'No, Jacob. None of the classes this year require 3D glasses.'

This movie has more than budget cuts!

"It turns out that if you give a hundred monkeys a hundred typewriters, eventually they'll turn out the work of Tarantino."

'The acting was awful and the plot was thin, but the mortgage rate looked interesting.'

Barbara Windsor

"Hey, this is brilliant! Where do you get my ideas?"

'Cut!' (movie studio director)

Videographer. Zoom in. Zoom out.

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Sign outside a movie studio: Standing in line Auditions.

Martin Scorsese.

Huge, tough guy going to sit in front of little man at movie theater.

De Niro As Christ.

'You don't have to worry about Leonardo DiCaprio dad, I still prefer you.'

'This is the worst red-light district I've ever been in!'

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

"Good news, Mrs. Jennings! The lump in your throat isn't cancer, it's from watching a lot of sad movies."

Never ending story.

I warned him about not going to see that 'must see' movie.

"It's from Private Ryan...Wish you were here."

'Bond is back...again...!'

'Imagine what Hollywood special-effects people could do with this scene!'

Film critic critics

Rowan Atkinson.