Filmmaking Fanatic Gifts

'Because it's there.' ... 'Because he may fall.'

Sloth Studios - "Lights! camera! inaction!"

The Horror Film Director.

"For animals 'in the wild', we could be wilder, and a little less cutesy."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"It turns out that if you give a hundred monkeys a hundred typewriters, eventually they'll turn out the work of Tarantino."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

What's an Imax cave?

"Werewolves of London..."

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

Reese Witherspoon

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

Giant slug attacks a city

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

Star Wars Audience

"Haven't you already seen this movie, like, a hundred times?"

'Huh? Little Airmyn?'

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

"My favourite movie is Mrs Fire, without doubt."

"Which part are you reading for?"

Starvation Watching

Hollywood producer.

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

Blockbuster Billion Club

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

"I'd leave Redford for George Clooney in a hartbeat."