Fiber Intake Gifts

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

"Here's your sweater back."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

Knitted Kitty.

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

Sawdust.

'I gave her that ball of yarn...'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"When a man is tired of pasta, sir, he is tired of life. Dr. Johnson."

House of Beans - No Smoking.

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

'You seem grumpy ... have you heard about the benefits of bran in the morning?'

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

The screaming fart.

"I love every single one of these."

'You need more fiber and less cholesterol in your diet. Throw out the eggs you bought and eat the carton they came in.'

'Looks like you've got enough fiber in your system.'

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

Crocheting during lockdown

"It's the worse case of flatulence I've ever witnessed!"

"We quickly realized it was fruitless trying to compete, so now we work together and sell blended wool..."

"There's too much fibre in your diet! Your roots are showing!"

"Wheat bran, prunes and black coffee for breakfast?! What was I thinki — oh, noooo..."

Live Laugh Knit

"Sir, do you have any idea how slow you were going?"

Jack the Ripper.