Fiber Fiend Gifts

"Wheat bran, prunes and black coffee for breakfast?! What was I thinki — oh, noooo..."

Oatmeal, dork. Another? That's three today. What's up? Senor Scrabble championships are tomorrow. I'm loading up. On carbs? Fiber. Key preparation for seniors. Extra gross.

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Emergency Hipster Beard

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

Meowlzebub

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

Knitted Kitty.

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

Sawdust.

'I gave her that ball of yarn...'

'Wait a minute....!

House of Beans - No Smoking.

Kicking The Habit

'You're eating too much roughage.'

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

The screaming fart.

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"I love every single one of these."

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

'You need more fiber and less cholesterol in your diet. Throw out the eggs you bought and eat the carton they came in.'

'Whadaya mean my fixed income is broken?'

'Looks like you've got enough fiber in your system.'

"Well, I think we've proved our point...you want to push it, or should I?"