Dietary Fiber Gifts

"Large coffee and three bran muffins...hopefully to go!"

Man breaking wind infront of neighbours.

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'The diet books really worked for me...I bought so many I couldn't afford any food.'

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

Mixed marriage: food fight

'I'll have three of those trout, but throw them to me. . . I want to tell the wife I caught them.'

Food Pyramid.

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

"It's the worse case of flatulence I've ever witnessed!"

We can identify the genetic root of many problems... however your husbands being a long strak of water isn't one of them!

"You're getting too much fiber."

"Do you have anything that looks vegan, but is made from meat?"

"What? I have a nut allergy."

"If you want fiber, madame, I suggest you eat the menu."

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

"You're prediabetic. I can't help you unless you decide to eat less sugar - or more sugar."

"It's raw, unprocessed wool."

Guy sitting on bank pulling up fishing line with sign from fish attached to hook reading' Got anything better than worms?'

'You have to chew your food: All this feeding-frenzy business is bad for your digestive system...'

'I'm a finicky vegetarian. I don't eat eggs unless they're poached. I don't eat meat, unless it is properly marinated. I don't eat fish unless it's breaded and fried.'

'I don't know whether the fish oils have helped his concentration but they've certainly helped keep the fly population down.'

The old good-doc, bad cop routine.

"No bread for Grampa. He's on a glutten-free diet."

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