Dietary Concerns Gifts

"I can't sleep not knowing where all the gluten from gluten-free products goes."

"Oh God, I forgot to ask if anybody had lard issues."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

'Remember your blood pressure, dear!...the Dr, warned about anything that would anger you, like this divided congress and their inability to compromise on things beneficial to the nation.'

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

Squirrel in tree with t-shirt saying ''may contain nuts.'

"Early Bird, you need to go easy on the worms."

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

"That's why you need to chew your food!" (cow deposited a hay bale).

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

Edith told Hank that if he gained any more weight, she's leave him. Hank just wanted the cake and Edith too.

'No, no, no. I think it's great that you exercise and diet. I just wonder if perhaps you exercise and diet too much.'

'I don't think cholesterol had been invented then.'

"What? I have a nut allergy."

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

'And the winner for best supporting animal in a frozen ready meal goes to...'

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

"Oh, oh...I detect traces of tree nuts...where's my epipen?"

"You're prediabetic. I can't help you unless you decide to eat less sugar - or more sugar."

'I'm really not eating a balanced diet. I'm always replacing meals with snacks. Maybe I should be taking a multivitamin before I eat a donut.'

"Have a banana."

"If you don't plan on snacking at night, then why did you move the refrigerator in here?"

Skinny Santa Claus munches on carrot, as obese Rudolph eats mince pie.

Scale SOS!